Serving access order and the responses

I wrote an access order asking to see them once a month and talk to them on the phone once a week and then reconcidered because things were going well so I didn't do anything with legally. I got the nastiest response back which was sent to the courts. So I wrote her asking why she did that.

My note to her on her facebook wall so everyone could read it:

I am in receipt of your response to the Access Order. I am disappointed by your thoughts as I believed we were making headway on rebuilding a friendship that would be in the best interest of our children. This was my reason for rescinding the access order in the first place.

Tell me, is that honestly where your mind is at, or are you actually trying to make a truce with Shannon and I?

Her repsonse was:
"I am not surprised that you would be disappointed. My thoughts and feelings are valid, whether you or anyone else disagrees with me. We are entitled to our own feelings, thoughts and opinions.
Rebuilding takes time, we've had that conversation on more than one occasion over SEVERAL years. Yes, in the interest of the girls I have considered their reality, which is why I chose to bring your girlfriend into their lives .... even if it is in small doses.
If your application for access was in fact withdrawn (which the courts had no record of it when I filed my reply) it doesn't mean that I will just continue to let you rake me over the coals. There are terms and conditions that MCFD agrees with, bottom line.
It's not about playing a power & control game. And it's not about punishing you, it's reality. But then again punishment and consequences go hand in hand. So if that's the perspective you want to keep, you are indeed entitled.
So, "honestly" I'm just trying to grow & move on."

My Response to that:
So, my thoughts and feelings are INVALID is what you're saying.
In your response you stated "My Husband (and his mother) are merely PLAY DATES to the girls" & "they would be a DISRUPTION TO THEIR ROUTINE".
YOU think of me as a play date?. You have made me a play date by keeping them from seeing me as punishing me for going back to prison and being with some one new.
"I won't keep their memories from them". Here you're saying they can have their memories of me but not create new ones?
Those girls were conceived in prison, raised in that environment until March 08 and you had no problem bringing them in for visits and PFV'S. What is so different now?
Among all the hurtful things you said against my mother and me in your response, you never once said you agreed that I should be able to see them. My mother can have supervised visits, but not me? Every one else can see them, but just not me? Even my Girlfriend? But not ME.
I guess there's nothing more to say. You don't want me to see them as you said in your response to the courts.
And since I am merely a PLAY DATE, why confuse them by having them call me Daddy and interact with me on the phone once a week.
What you wrote is hurtful, and I know you wanted it that way.
PS. When I say I retracted the Access Order, I mean that the Affidavit of Service was not sent in which is the document that gets the court date and gets the ball rolling. Without that, this goes no where.
PPS. You'll have to do the divorce yourself, I don't have the means. Sorry. 

Mothers response:
Especially since my husband is the one who is always begging me to stop using facebook I am a little surprised at the willingness to share some (what was supposed to be private) info. But I will follow suit by replying.
I did NOT nor am I now saying that anyone's thoughts and feelings are INVALID I stated that as a "we" comment earlier.

Hmmm, I suspected he would again throw the PAST years of living a prison relationship in my face. I have finally put my foot down & set boundaries. Neither one of us are used to this & it pisses him off when he doesn't get his way. He is not used to his demands & expectations not being met. Just because I felt it acceptable before does NOT mean I have to accept it now.
And I hit the nail on the head ... consequences of his actions include being separated from the girls. I am not 'keeping' the girls as a form of punishment. You & Jason can interpret the papers however you want, I did not say new memories can't be made. 

So what's different now? I am a stronger person & do not have an obligation to bring the girls into prison just because that's where their Daddy is. In fact, it's frowned upon by social services. I am NOT saying that it won't happen and I DID NOT say that I don't want them to see each other at all. If he wants to really cut his chances completely by removing me from the visitor's list then those would be HIS actions. It's not a challenge nor a request, it's a fact.

My suggestion is to read the court papers again because it asked me if I disagreed & why ... not if I agreed & why. So please stop twisting the words.

The girls are not confused by calling him Daddy ... that's a cop out & he knows it. Regardless of what THEIR perspective is of the relationship the girls know him as Daddy. They know he doesn't live here & that's why they talk on the phone....

Yes, I'm sure reading the words that I wrote are hurtful, but again please stop twisting them. My words were NOT written to hurt anyone. They were written as a reply to the access order and are true and valid. The reply I submitted was to the application placed by his mom and was in fact in the court files. So my dear ..... the ball was rolling already. I also told him when he called for his daughter's birthday that I was still going thru with my reply because I don't hold a lot of credit to what he says.

As for the divorce .... I guess all 3 of us will be waiting a long time. His mom is always boasting that she will help if asked and seeing as she helped with the first divorce, I don't see why she wouldn't want to help with this one.

Frankly, I would much rather keep this situation amicable & I am trying, but please remember that just like Jason and you .... and everyone else .... I have a right to defend myself

My response:
I don't remember what mom's order said but I'm sure that it was focused around seeing the girls and not about dredging up the past as a means to defense. We did not do that and made sure not to do that to you. We merely asked for one visit a month. that's it. One visit a month.
If it was the order my mom put in, why would they send a copy to me? At my address. Wouldn't they have sent it to the applicant, my mother. She didn't get a copy. So, I'm pretty sure you were responding to mine. Anyway, it doesn't matter. What's done is done, what's been said on both sides has been said and can't be taken back. I just don't know what to do anymore.